Hazmat Enthusiast Gifts

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'It's better than Prozac. I no longer worry about the ozone layer, sulfur dioxide, ultraviolet rays...'

"Since we couldn't get Commander Hadfield to talk on space, let's welcome Hazmat Mike to talk mould!"

"For goodness sake George - I only asked you to clean the oven!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Baby on board.

On the brink.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

The New Normal

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.