Hazmat Enthusiast Pillows

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'It's better than Prozac. I no longer worry about the ozone layer, sulfur dioxide, ultraviolet rays...'

"For goodness sake George - I only asked you to clean the oven!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

The New Normal

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

Caution signs.

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

Daddy showed me why I should always wear my bicycle helmet!

Health and safety notice falling on builder.

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Wear a helmet

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'