Hazmat Professional Gifts

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

The New Normal

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Rule one: Never work without a net. Rule two: Specify the type of net.

Office Safety.

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

They couldn't Convince Jimmy, the Smoke-Detector Salesman, that he hadn't gone to Heaven

Man in a hazmat suit on a COVID-19 wrecking ball.

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Scientist cleans lab window.

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

A tanker truck with a warning on the back that reads "The scientific community is divided. Some say this stuff is dangerous, some say it isn't".

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

You are not alone! It is a TEAM EFFORT!

Load explodes on impact.

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

Disabilities and Health & Safety

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

Dual Airbags

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"