Hazardous Materials Enthusiast Gifts

Raw Sewage, Toxic Waste, Nerve Gas, and Don't Ask.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

'You forgot the product label.'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

"Renovating your bathroom?"

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

FDA will 'Regulate Tobacco'.

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

"How was your day, dear?"

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

'Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic waste dump.'

Load explodes on impact.

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

'Caution! Quick sand in this area.'

'Those are my best tights, don't you dare ladder them !'

The Mysterious World of Ligand Substitution.

"Bob's the name. Toxic-waste handling's the game."

"They always give us minimum-wage, part-time guys the riskiest jobs."

"Let these catalysts catalyze! Allow this experiment to be expedited. Help these chemicals to coalesce."

'A bullet Heavens, Kessler, don't be so melodramatic. It's only a poisoned dart.'

An elevator to some dynamite.

"Most employees struggle with the job's monotony, but Chris has learned he can spend hours feeding off the adrenaline from a reckless commute."

Forest Fire Hazard

"Remember when we used to worry about him bringing home nits?"