Hazardous Materials Expert Gifts

Dirty Bomb Squad.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'A toxic waste dump? Great idea! I've been wondering how to spruce up the swamp.'

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

FDA will 'Regulate Tobacco'.

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

Scientist cleans lab window.

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"How was your day, dear?"

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

'Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic waste dump.'

Load explodes on impact.

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

"Bob's the name. Toxic-waste handling's the game."

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"I don't think the new guy is built for this kind of work, do you?"

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'It's your wife, she wants you to pick up some milk on your way home.'

"The universe tends towards chaos."

Uncle alarmed at learning his nephew keeps his cartridges in front of the fire

Missile company employee gets a missile in his 'incoming' tray.