Hazardous Material Handler Gifts

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

D.I.Y with dad.

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Emotional Baggage Handler

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

Airplanes have to limit the noise pollution at landing

“They look like last year’s models.”

'Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic waste dump.'

'He's determined to go where his bags go!'

Load explodes on impact.

'And here you can see one of the incredible boring amusement park rides that were so beloved in the 20th century.'

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

"Bob's the name. Toxic-waste handling's the game."

Shot Putting Competition, "He used to be a baggage handler at Heathrow."

Caution falling books

Man at Medical Waste conference says - 'Hello?'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

Airport: Luggage left unattended will be sold to the highest bidder.

"Hey! I'm Aerating Here!"

'I KNOW this is insect repellent and not after-shave lotion.'

When Farmers Tip...

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

Golfer hits a plane on his drive.

Another anthrax case...

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'