Explosive Expert Gifts

Uncle alarmed at learning his nephew keeps his cartridges in front of the fire

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

You'll join the army? Really? What the heck. My guilt trip worked. This is so great. Say, I'm especially bad at recruiting people to look for IEDs. I'm really, really bad at it. I just can't get anyone. Can you please help? Pushing my luck? Very passive-aggressive. But no thanks.

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"How was your day, dear?"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

Brain Bomb Detector

'A little higher Dinkleman.'

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'I was cleaning it and it went off.'

"I guess it wasn't 'just crazy enough to work' after all."

Nuclear Families

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

Red Wire of Black Wire?

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

It seems there is a difference between a "hypothesis" and a "guesstimate."

"I see you found my science project, dad. Cool, it works!"

"You must be the demolition team."

"I always put things off until the last minute."

Magazine Exploded on US Steamer 'Mississipi', Nr Port Hudson

Crazy Scientist