Explosives Specialist Gifts

'It's your wife, she wants you to pick up some milk on your way home.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

"He did it!"

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

Brain Bomb Detector

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'I was cleaning it and it went off.'

Nuclear Families

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"I guess it wasn't 'just crazy enough to work' after all."

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Red Wire of Black Wire?

It seems there is a difference between a "hypothesis" and a "guesstimate."

Crazy Scientist

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

"I see you found my science project, dad. Cool, it works!"

Magazine Exploded on US Steamer 'Mississipi', Nr Port Hudson

"You must be the demolition team."

"How was your day, dear?"

"I always put things off until the last minute."