Having A First Child Gifts

"Let me guess -- first child?"

'Mom never pops a wheelie.'

'Moms are full of surprises.'

'Baby's teething.'

'Back me up buddy! She sounds cool with Moa!'

'That's not the image I wanted to leave him with.'

'I know how to fix that!'

'It actually works pretty good just about anywhere.'

'I like a challenge.'

'More dirt=more bubbles!'

'The sooner I can talk, the sooner I have to start explaining.'

'Sorry folks. All these jokes can't be winners.'

'Said once, and never again!'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'