Expecting First Child Gifts

"Remember- we want her to stand out and fit in."

"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."

'It's our first. Don't know where to begin. Haven't even picked out a domain name.'

'I'm pregnant.'

"This is my first!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"