Expecting A Child Gifts

'Perhaps you could give him a touch of astigmatism. Kids with glasses are sooo cute!'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

'I'm just working out the best time to take paternity leave.'

"Hunter, gatherer, we don't really care, as long as it's healthy."

"We'd like the child to arrive in December so taking into account my wifes' ovulation patterns and our opportunities for intercourse we'd like her first check-up booked for next June"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"... me being in the the plumbing trade, I sorted something out."

"Sometimes I wonder if it's right to bring a child into this income."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

Bedroom Furniture.

Football mad dad to be.

'Daddy wants it to be a boy, and Mummy wants it to be a girl, but I want it to be a puppy.'

"'Boy or girl'...? How dare you impose a culturally stereotypical gender role on my defenceless foetus, you male-identifiable oppressor!!"

IVF Clinic: Free 'Baby on Board' T-Shirt To All Successful Patients

"Wouldn't it be easier to get one of those pregnancy testing kits from the chemiost, Julie?"

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'The son-of-a-bitch said we were playing leapfrog!'

Mr. Spock at a child rearing seminar.

"Not another gooseberry bush!"

'My biological clock finally went off.'

Oh my God...My kid could be like that!!

'No, there's only one baby Mrs Kong, but it looks like a very big one!'

Rabbit reads book entitled '1001 Baby Names'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

Pregnancy and Laptops

The Joy of Begetting

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

A midwife crisis.

'How do I know it's mine?'

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

The Elephant in the Womb

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

"When I told you we were pregnant, what did you think I meant?"