Expecting Baby Gifts

"What hope have I got with all mum's midnight snacks!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Baby trying to break out'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"You're what?!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They grow up so fast."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'I told you it would be useful.'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

The Baby Walker

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'She's just great with the children.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'