Expecting First Baby Gifts

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Madonna of the Pukes.

"They grow up so fast."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'I told you it would be useful.'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'She's just great with the children.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"