Expecting First Baby Gifts

"They're expecting their first baby by surrogate mother!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They grow up so fast."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Madonna of the Pukes.

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'She's just great with the children.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun