First Child Birth Gifts

'That, and my head is shaped like one.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Whoa

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'A is for Arse.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"They look so young and helpless."

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Extra innings.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!