Firstborn Gifts

The Role of the Firstborn

"His first out-of-body experience."

Madonna of the Pukes.

A young Don King

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"They look so young and helpless."

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

Mime Baby

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"It's a good boy!"

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

"Hurray! I just got born!"

Out of patience

Extra innings.

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

The modern generation!