Haunted House Humorist Gifts

Rational explanations

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"I'm working from home today."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Macbeth: Take Two

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Yard Sale

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

Ghost puddle

Job Safety - Pumpkin.

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

The following is a paid political announcement.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

Fancy a pint?

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

Cat Frankenstein

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."