Horror Humorist Gifts

"I've got to go to the hospital next week and have my ghoul-stones removed..."

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

'Sorry. We can't pay on your life insurance policy. You apparently didn't read our 'living dead' clause.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'When I was young I was 'Twilight fast'.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'Ah! Breakfast in bed.'

'I don't quite know what it is... but there's something about this place gives me the creeps, Joe.'

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

"I'll take a screwdriver and my friend will have a bloody mary."

'The motel was nothing fancy but it was clean and they were too tired and hungry to care....'

The Zombie Awakes...

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"If you think he's playing too slow, then you go tell him."

Vampire Running In A Marathon

Pinata Zombies

The Mummy's curse

Zombie

The Walking Dead...The Jogging Dead

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

House of Horror

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

Night mare on Elm Street.

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'Botox so soon, Master?'

'We've got you, thanks to this cross that Bobby just drew.'

'Before I eat your brain, would you mind holding a conversation on this mobile for half-an-hour? That should have it done to a turn.'

...your sales are rather anemic

'I'm minding it for a friend.'

'Twas an irritable giant man that killed the beast!'

Vampire dentist.

Fancy a pint?

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Vampire getting spayed with bug spray

Zombie Parenting Books.