Horror Humorist Gifts

"I've got to go to the hospital next week and have my ghoul-stones removed..."

"I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

'Sorry. We can't pay on your life insurance policy. You apparently didn't read our 'living dead' clause.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'The motel was nothing fancy but it was clean and they were too tired and hungry to care....'

"I'll take a screwdriver and my friend will have a bloody mary."

'Well, Frank, I've told you a hundred times to tighten your neck bolts, but do you ever listen? Nooo!'

'I don't quite know what it is... but there's something about this place gives me the creeps, Joe.'

'Ah! Breakfast in bed.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

'Before I eat your brain, would you mind holding a conversation on this mobile for half-an-hour? That should have it done to a turn.'

Fancy a pint?

'We've got you, thanks to this cross that Bobby just drew.'

'Botox so soon, Master?'

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'I'm minding it for a friend.'

'Twas an irritable giant man that killed the beast!'

Vampire dentist.

...your sales are rather anemic

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

House of Horror

The Walking Dead...The Jogging Dead

Zombie

The Mummy's curse

"If you think he's playing too slow, then you go tell him."

The Zombie Awakes...

Vampire Running In A Marathon

I'll see my self out Mr Dracula

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

'Tell me about these new plasma TVs.....'

Nosferatutu.

...preferably someone with a blood donor card...'

"Gesundheit!"

'Quick, Bernie - in here!'