Hellish Humorist Gifts

Careful - the coffee's room temperature.

Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.

Hades. The food is always the same down here. It's seared steak and blackened fish, both covered in hot sauce. For dessert, it's devils food cake and this flaming cherries jubilee. Just take the food, Ernie. We might not get his chance again in an eternity. The important thing is now these are take-out meals!

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

"Can you believe it's autumn already?"

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

'At least I'm getting a nice, even tan.'

Angel Puppet.

"Sorry, my bad."

Hades' Spawn Shop.

We should be fine, provided we keep one pitchfork apart.

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"From this you make a living?"

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

Cat Frankenstein

Meowlzebub

Fancy a pint?

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

The Zombie Awakes...

Pinata Zombies

...your sales are rather anemic

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'