Hellish Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"So much for your attorneys."

Devil-May-Care Centre.

'Your teacher says you've been a good boy again! That means you're grounded, young man!!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

"From this you make a living?"

'Frankendumpty'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Hellbillies.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

Special Place in Hell...

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

The next time he sees a squirrel, you take the leash.

Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. When I was your age I slept with the nightlight on in my coffin, too."

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."