Horror Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Frankendumpty'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

"Oh s**t, it’s ICE!"

The next time he sees a squirrel, you take the leash.

Frankenstein's Monster in Church - "Welcome friends to the Church of the Born Again Christians,"

.Friends Dug Up & Reunited

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

The mourners shrieked as Emily emerged groggily from the grave. Once again her corpse-like nap after a multi-day trip had been grossly misinterpreted.

'Oh, no! Count Dragula!'

'No, it's not 'The Mummy'. It's YOUR mummy, back from the plastic surgeon.'

'Accountant Dracula.'

"Relax, I said I'm looking for 'A Reuben!'"

Reasons to be glad you're not a werewolf.

"It's not so bad! But I DO have to sleep on my side. . .2

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Police Feline Unit

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Cariactures

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'