Horror Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"Well, that's done! Now all we need to do is build a dog!"

"There's one thing that scares me at Halloween."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Dead Funny

"They're comfortable."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Chiller Theatre

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"She wishes to range free!"

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

Solar Frankenstein

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"...And that's how to translate honey into money."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

How Amazon was invented