Haggle Hero Gifts

OK, OK, you can have it for a nickel, but I won't go a cent lower. Maybe.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Cleaning Lockers.

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

"How much if I pedal?"

One Man Band

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

"Apart from the NDA, we have another option before signing a contract."

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

I have a balanced financial portfolio and I keep these plants trimmed. Those are my hedging strategies.

"All the government wants to do is push our buttons!"

"But I might be interested. How much are you asking?"

'The child's seat is worth more than the car.'

'Are you sure you want to bargain with him?'

'You say that if you sell me it for £50 you'll be giving £100. In that case give £50 and keep it!'

Donald Came Out Of The Recovery Room This Morning But Had To Go Back After Seeing The Bill.

"More proof there's an afterlife."

'It even has tiny for sale signs on the windows.'

'They're renegotiating their contracts with the team owner during half time.'

"Why do you always hog the hedge?"

'How are things in the fast lane?'

This is not what I meant by "huddled masses."

"At least you're now getting your foot in the door!"

'Please don't call me Mr. Carruthers. Mr. Carruthers is my father. I'm Dr. Carruthers.'

Vet considering how to apply acupunture to a hedgehog.

I lie to my dentist about how often I floss. I also lie about what parts of my body I floss.