Contract Haggler Gifts

"Apart from the NDA, we have another option before signing a contract."

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

'So, what are the terms of use?'

Sports Lawyers

"Goes to show ou can't please all of the people all of the time!"

'You're close to becoming the indispensable man, Grisnill - you keep finding loopholes.'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"How much if I pedal?"

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"Just sign here - yes, in blood."

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'If you wish to retain my rock star client's talents you're going to need to pay a rock star price.'

'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"

'Are you the person I see about getting a sign-up bonus and a salary?'