Price Haggle Humorist Gifts

"Do you have these in a more realistic price...?"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"How much if I pedal?"

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Great moments in shopping

'Your call would have been important to us before we went out of business.'

"Let's see now; rat's gizzard, bats wings, eye of newt....oh, yes. And cornflakes!"

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

'I'm on a budget TOO, you know!'

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

Be nice to Erdogan

'Inflation allows us to live in a more expensive neighbourhood with even moving.'

One of Faust's lesser-known bargains.

Fresh milk - Self service

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

Supreme Gas

Money doesn't grow on trees - Prehistoric economist 300 million years before evolving into my dad.

"You think the movie is scary? Go price the popcorn."

'You're taking this far too literally.'

'Yes, that IS a lot of money for just a spay...

Caution! Contents may be horribly overpriced.

'Well, yeah, the hot dog is 10?, but the BUN is $3.40.'

Market items.

It was a peaceful summer evening, until suddenly...the Unemployer!

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

'Well, at $7.00 a pint, it's no wonder you don't see many rhinos in here.'

'The child's seat is worth more than the car.'