Price Hike Humorist Gifts

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

Budget Opticians.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

Be nice to Erdogan

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'Inflation allows us to live in a more expensive neighbourhood with even moving.'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

'Our fare hike will leave service at the same level, just like guess what?'

"You think the movie is scary? Go price the popcorn."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

Caution! Contents may be horribly overpriced.

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

Vinyl Analysis

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

'A one-dollar investment? No problem: Bury this coin, and when you dig it up in about 450 years, it may be worth 20 bucks!'