Price Tag Humorist Gifts

Free thank you big spender with each fill up!

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Budget Opticians.

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"The fifty-five-gallon drum is completely filled with pennies, sir. Should it be taken to the bank?"

"My research on the effects of total inactivity in humans is nearing a breakthrough. Just one more 5-year grant should do it."

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

"Whoa, don't hand me my pay cheque. I'm allergic to peanuts!"

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

"You think the movie is scary? Go price the popcorn."

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

Caution! Contents may be horribly overpriced.

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

"On the upside, books from the closed libraries can be used to fuel the town hall furnace..."

"Entertaining that lot all day and what's in it for us - peanuts!"

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'

"I don't mean to minimize your problems. That's not how I make my dough."