Overpricing Humorist Gifts

Caution! Contents may be horribly overpriced.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Budget reaction.

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

Budget Opticians.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

"The fifty-five-gallon drum is completely filled with pennies, sir. Should it be taken to the bank?"

One of Faust's lesser-known bargains.

'Yes, that IS a lot of money for just a spay...

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

"You think the movie is scary? Go price the popcorn."

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'Great news! Our credit card limit has been raised enough for us to pay off our bankruptcy lawyer!'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

Vinyl Analysis

'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'

"I don't mean to minimize your problems. That's not how I make my dough."

Have You Claimed Your PPI?

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

'I did the math -- we can't AFFORD to attend the economic summit.'