Price Humorists Gifts

"You think the movie is scary? Go price the popcorn."

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

Budget reaction.

First Market Decline

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

Budget Opticians.

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

Harper's Cat Speaks: 'To whom it may concern: I will be cutting down on kitty treats.'

Dollar sign balloon.

Be nice to Erdogan

'Inflation allows us to live in a more expensive neighbourhood with even moving.'

One of Faust's lesser-known bargains.

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

'All these bailouts are silly - why don't they just give everybody their own ATM machines?'

Computer that runs on money.

'Yes, that IS a lot of money for just a spay...

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

'The x-rays are conclusive. We found some extra money hidden in the secret compartment of your wallet.'

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor

'Tell them that, by funding our project, they agree the universe must be expanding, and that, as it expands, so must our budget!'

Caution! Contents may be horribly overpriced.

IRS, 'Try to be a little more prompt with your return next year, sir -- We almost ran out of welfare money!'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

He sometimes wondered if his new trophy wife was just after his money. (Towels read 'kin' and 'next of kin').

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

'A one-dollar investment? No problem: Bury this coin, and when you dig it up in about 450 years, it may be worth 20 bucks!'

"I don't mean to minimize your problems. That's not how I make my dough."