Price Hike Satirist Gifts

"Our prices have to be high because our chef doesn't have his own tv show."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

Made in China

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'The recession is over, again.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

Money god

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Wait a minute....!

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

Investments.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

Euro Bait

Positive Trend, Dreadful Outcome

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'The price of a stock will fluctuate on these three factors...'

'This Libor rate scandal gives new meaning to the term 'Fixed'-rate mortgage.'

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

The Eurozone Explained

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"