Inflation Humorist Gifts

'Inflation allows us to live in a more expensive neighbourhood with even moving.'

Clancy: Confused Memory

'Well, at $7.00 a pint, it's no wonder you don't see many rhinos in here.'

'Better go back and get another bag. . .this will loose 2% by the time we get home.'

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'A one-dollar investment? No problem: Bury this coin, and when you dig it up in about 450 years, it may be worth 20 bucks!'

Be nice to Erdogan

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Will work for ETFs

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Money Bar.

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'