Inflation Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'I finally found a job with a future...price-changer at a gas station.'

British savings accounts

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

Budget Cuts

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off by as much as two dollars.'

Business men's lunches: Tycoons ?25, On the way downers ?2.50.

"I don't recall ever hearing the stockholders speak with such a unified voice as they did today!"

"Your condition appears to have deteriorated considerably since your last cheque bounced."

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

'I'm just finishing denying the rumors of our impending bankruptcy to the press. Got those bankruptcy papers ready?'

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'Business is very good. We'll soon be moving to smaller premises.'

"Pour yourself a drink - the news isn't too good"