Inflation Irony Lover Gifts

Man inflating a Sterling pound sign

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

"Willis has kindly agreed to sum up our current financial position."

If found please return to mountain

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen