Hygiene Haggler Gifts

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

The Cougher

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'Where's my glove?'

Wash your hands

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Soap Versus Coronavirus

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

Hand Sanitiser on the Bar

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'Mom, why do I have to wash both hands? I only eat with one of them.'

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

A day in the life of a dish sink

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

Shaking hands will transfer bacteria

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"Our staff here at the practice believe in 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, so I had these showers installed."

"I'm Hygienia, the good witch of the north."

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

'I'm the good witch, and this is my house - made entirely out of dental care products.'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."