Health Haggler Gifts

"I'll go shop around for a doctor."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

"How much if I pedal?"

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

'If you had a tapeworm, would you keep it?'

"I'm just browsing."

"That's what I like about you, Abrams, you don't let a little illness keep you off the job."

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

Medical Bills.

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

'My doctor gave me a prescription for a head cold but I don't have time for a head cold. Could you change this to something for the 24 hour flu?'

"Apart from the NDA, we have another option before signing a contract."

"All the government wants to do is push our buttons!"

'You would save money on the long run if you'd let me throw in an autopsy with the procedure.'

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

'Well, yeah, the hot dog is 10?, but the BUN is $3.40.'

'Are you sure you want to bargain with him?'

"But I might be interested. How much are you asking?"

'The child's seat is worth more than the car.'

Donald Came Out Of The Recovery Room This Morning But Had To Go Back After Seeing The Bill.

"Rub this on everything."

'They're renegotiating their contracts with the team owner during half time.'

'Says he came here to deliver a package.'

'It even has tiny for sale signs on the windows.'

"Did the doctor forget to tell you to exhale?"

I lie to my dentist about how often I floss. I also lie about what parts of my body I floss.

"Sheesh! With these expenses it would be cheaper just to bury you and get a new husband!"

"Dad, for Father's Day, I'm giving you $100."