Hospital Haggler Gifts

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

Donald Came Out Of The Recovery Room This Morning But Had To Go Back After Seeing The Bill.

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

Push, push, push...

"When they said they were bringing in students I thought they meant MEDICAL students."

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"Don't just stand there gawping women! Give me a hand with my monthly salary!"

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"How much if I pedal?"

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

'This one was too patient.'

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."

'Welcome to the Ambulance Chasing Network... Have you or someone you love taken Zerkzes pills in the past six-months?'

"Actually, I forgot to subtract the disinterest."

Practicing Defensive Medicine

'I'm feeling a lot better, Nurse -- how about switching me to the cheap stuff?'

"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"

'This is my twin brother. He's going to give you the second opinion you asked for...'

'The doctor's busy. Can you come back when you're better?'

Working at a hospital

'We have a tournament to see which drug reps get to see the doctors.'

'How did your meeting with your insurance company go?'