Hospital Hustler Gifts

"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"

'This is my twin brother. He's going to give you the second opinion you asked for...'

'Sir, for the last two hours your constant cries of pain have been disturbing the other people in the waiting room. Please stop.' (based on true story.) St. Elizabeth's Hospital

"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Don't just stand there gawping women! Give me a hand with my monthly salary!"

Angel of Death dangles a carrot on a stick.

"We're doing all we can, Mrs. Fox, but he's already lost a lot of urine."

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

Practicing Defensive Medicine

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

'I'm feeling a lot better, Nurse -- how about switching me to the cheap stuff?'

'I've just become a pensioner so I've put a down payment on my own hospital trolley.'

Octopus Nurse

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

Operation.

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'Get this, Dr. Melroy just asked my opinion.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"When they said they were bringing in students I thought they meant MEDICAL students."

"Good?"

Just Browsing.

'Which arrow points to my office?'