Gym God Pillows

"I should totally appear to them."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Exercise Class

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Bench Press Accident

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

DumbbellsSmartbells.

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Exercise now!

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

The trim reaper

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'