Gym God Gifts

"I should totally appear to them."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Bench Press Accident

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"OK, ready to go again?"

Exercise Class

"We're exclusively delts."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Exercise now!

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

DumbbellsSmartbells.

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

The trim reaper

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!