Gym Geek Gifts

'Ha! Here's your problem. You haven't been taking the human growth hormones. Someone sold you some other kind of hormone.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Muscles

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Exercise Class

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Bench Press Accident

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Exercising

'We're looking for athletic people.'