Gym Skeptic Gifts

"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"Should I bother working out if no one knows my identity?"

People tell me my hardships make me stronger...

Fitness. No, thanks

'You're home early. I thought you were going to the gym.' 'I did. And then I saw a big sweaty butt print on the stationary bike seat, and well, here I am.'

"Last year, you said you were signing up to a gym...it it nice?"

Arnold Schwarzenegger's clone: 'But I don't wanna pump iron!'

"No, I'm sorry Geoff. I still can't remember you ever having a six pack there."

Jeff was watching his weight.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"We're exclusively delts."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Exercising

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

Exercise Bars

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

No caption (A man running on a treadmill hands a relay baton to a man on the treadmill in front of him).

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."