Gym Skeptic Pillows

"I canceled my membership, but they keep withdrawing money. I've lost 15 pounds so far fighting them in court."

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"Should I bother working out if no one knows my identity?"

People tell me my hardships make me stronger...

'You're home early. I thought you were going to the gym.' 'I did. And then I saw a big sweaty butt print on the stationary bike seat, and well, here I am.'

"Last year, you said you were signing up to a gym...it it nice?"

"No, I'm sorry Geoff. I still can't remember you ever having a six pack there."

Jeff was watching his weight.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Exercising

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Cheerleaders

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'