Fitness Skeptics Gifts

'Walk all the way to the woods?! Why can't we just call a cab?'

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Gathering dust isn't dangerous in itself, but it's a sign of lack of exercise.'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"My doctor told me to get more exercise by walking a pet, but he didn't specify it had to be a dog."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

Jeff was watching his weight.

Toilet roll beauty tips.

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

"Exercise?...What you need is more napping!"

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

''Buy low, sell high' is not considered an aerobic activity.'

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'Welcome to the exercise hotline. To start a very low impact exercise program, press #1250 times.'

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."