Gym Genius Pillows

DumbbellsSmartbells.

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"OK, ready to go again?"

Bench Press Accident

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Exercise Class

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

The trim reaper

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Keep Fit.

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.