Gundog Guru Gifts

'You certainly know how to train gun dogs, Al.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Guru.

Kirsten Johnson

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Sybil Obama

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Government and Opposition

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

The wave of immigration issues about to hit Obama's plan and the Supreme Court ruling.

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

OM, SWEET OM

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Jerk Gene