Guppy Guru Gifts

I love Tropical Fish

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Dog yoga

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'But what is the universe for?'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

Exercise Class

The trim reaper

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"How much could your mother bench?"

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

Macho man body building club.

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."