Guppy Guru Gifts

I love Tropical Fish

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Dog yoga

On the back of the t-shirt...

'But what is the universe for?'

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

The trim reaper

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

"How much could your mother bench?"

'Does the hunter I just ate make me look fat?'

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

Macho man body building club.

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"That 'knowledge equals power' thing will take you only so far."