Canine Guru Gifts

'Can I fetch you anything? Huh, can I? Whataya need? A stick? A rock? You name it! I'll be your best buddy! Well? Whataya say?'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Dog yoga

Bathing the dog

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

"Wow, what a DILF."

Great training inspires employees: 'I see myself doing you job before too long...'

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

Dog wearing gas mask brings slippers to his owner.

'I signed him up in obedience school, but all he did was play hooky.'

'No, I said 'sit'.'

'You certainly know how to train gun dogs, Al.'

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”

"It isn't quite how I pictured it, either."

The Dog Breeder and His Son

Lion with hair straighteners.

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

Beware the Cat

'...and, we have with us today, a veterinarian...

Lady in fur coat to dog: 'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

Clumping and Non-Clumping Cat Litter

Hoping to appear 'hipper,' many candidates are sporting Justin Bieber haircuts.'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

"I really don't mind having my nails clipped, but I'm too easy, she'll think she can brush my teeth."

Chiropractor and Veterinarian.

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

"And this bit down here is about actually how to do the job."

'Beg, but don't wheedle.'

Pet Clinic

'Your lizard has a reptile dysfunction.'