Genetic Guru Gifts

"Dad, what did you do in the war against GM foods?"

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

Snakecharming.

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'I'm tired of wading around in the shallow end of the gene pool.'

Genetically enhanced height

"...I won't let anyone get your stem cells."

'ADN'

'As far as I can tell, your DNA chain was missing a few minor links.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Any questions?"

'But what is the universe for?'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Geek fairies

Family DNA

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

National Academy of Sport