Genetics Guru Gifts

DNA Analysis.

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

Profits from gene patenting.

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

'Your honor, I've been told I'm missing the gene for honesty.'

Happy Face Grows Third Eye.

'Well, he certainly has his father's nose!'

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

How DNA Molecules Combine: 'Hi, can I buy you an amino acid?'

"I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!"

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'It's the wife's birthday.'

Ice Cream Clones.

Laboratory day care centre staffed by mice.

Genetic researcher to kid: 'No, I'm not exactly the lifeguard of the gene pool.'

Cloning lab - 'I'm fed up with these double shifts!'

5th July 1996... Roslin Institute scientists announce the birth of Dolly the sheep and claim she is the first clone from an adult.

'I ask you - does this potato look like intellectual property to you?'

Today's Assignment Due - Genetics

"He's a typical kid. Spends all day on that thing doing his genetic sequencing."

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

'He's one of those genetically-altered antibodies.'

'This would be a good time to talk about heredity.'

'The DNA results indicate that your son will be handsome, clever and will die in a freak trampoline accident.'

'Okay - is there anybody ElSE whose homework ate their dog?'

"We're isolating the obesity gene, but only to make fun of it."

'So far, so good. I've got Mom's hairstyle, Grandpa's eyebrows and with some luck, I'll get Daddy's block of shares.'

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'

Medical Lab. Ernie, we call it a "paternity test," not a "pop quiz."

Genetic Engineering Lab. You've got mail. I crossed a carrier pigeon with a parrot.

"You know something doc, he weirdly kind of resembles you."

"You won't see a more naturally gifted skater."