Genesis Guru Gifts

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

And on the eighth day god invented lawyers - and screwed it up

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'But what is the universe for?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"#Win!"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

Geek fairies

Family DNA

"Now I'll demonstrate how, with a minimum of capital investment, you can make a mountain out of a molehill!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

Newton's Cradle Solar System

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Bonk!"

DNA Analysis.

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."