Genetic Guru Pillows

"Dad, what did you do in the war against GM foods?"

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

Snakecharming.

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'I'm tired of wading around in the shallow end of the gene pool.'

Genetically enhanced height

"...I won't let anyone get your stem cells."

'ADN'

'As far as I can tell, your DNA chain was missing a few minor links.'

Self help acupuncture

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Any questions?"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'But what is the universe for?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Family DNA

Geek fairies

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

National Academy of Sport

Congratulations on the new you!